Two Weeks One Blur

The last two weeks have been a total blur.  It's not just the usual festive drinking that typically occurs around the holidays every year.  This is more a combination of random days off from work, way too much steak, maybe three hours of sleep for a week straight, and yeah a lot of maker's mark with a splash of coke.  Pretty good time, right? Yeah.  Great.  Ask me what I did last Friday, and I might collapse from confusion.  It's one of the many, many charms a city of this size and general energy craziness has.  Now believe me when I say that you wouldn't catch me ever living farther than 5 kilometers (yes, I'm using the METRIC system in the US) from a major metropolitan area.  And I'm not talking about some dinky little town in the middle of nowhere with a hundred thousand residents, 20 bars, and 5 good restaurants.  I'm talking BIG.  Many people get stressed in a city of this size, it is definitely not for everyone.  

I saw some crazy things in New York City on my first visit.  I'm talking at least 15-18 years ago.  Not that I have a photographic memory of events that happened almost a lifetime ago, but there are some things that stick in your mind.  Something in your mind gets destroyed (or created, depending on your view) the first time you see a person sleeping in a subway tunnel.  I think that was my first impression of the US.  I mean, ok, obviously I was impressed with the sheer scale of the place, but one of the first things I noticed was the homeless people.  I'm thinking, for a country this wealthy, it sure has a LOT of homeless people.  Look, I'm not going to even pretend to start a socio-economic discussion regarding homelessness and unemployment in the US versus other countries on this blog, so I'll get back to some sort of story.  As I was saying, I remember my grandmother (on mom's side) telling me her impressions of NYC.  Keep in mind this wonderful 70-year old has travelled to some parts of Europe, but was confined to a small island in the Aegean Sea (that's in Greece, before you google it) for the majority of her life.  I remember her telling me how chaotic everything was in the city, how there would be so much noise, how people always seemed in a rush, how people would look at her funny in the subways, how she never felt safe walking alone, how everything was so expensive, and how people were incredibly rude and obnoxious.  Great first impression, that's one tourist you'll never see again.  Sure, the bright flashing lights in Times Square look cool...if you live on an island...in Greece...and have once owned chickens...from which you got your daily eggs for breakfast.  Seriously, is there anything more representative of the deterioration of humanity than Times Square? Is this what the average person from the Midwest looks like? Why do you only see obese people in the little strip of real estate from 34th to 50th street? Makes me wonder what the average tourist from say, London or Tokyo, would think of New York.  I might be way overgeneralizing the matter, but it seems to me tourists in New York do a very limited number of things.  NYC tourist agenda for the typical tourist: 1) Empire State Building 2) Statue of Liberty 3) Times Square 4) A play on Broadway, 5) MAYBE a museum (although I would be shocked if the average tourist knows the difference between the moma and the Met).  Am I wrong? What are other stupid things tourists get sucked into? Out of the above activities, I walk through Times Square hating my existence at that moment, I see the Empire State Building from my window, the Statue of Liberty from my office, Broadway's cool, and the museums are fantastic.  So maybe I'll start my own tourist agency, and take pre-qualified applicants (read: not from Kentucky) on a little walking tour of some real NYC spots.  I'm talking fantastic food, insane drinks, little parks in back alleys, stores with the most random things, and a place where you can drink some premium single malt while you get your shoes shined, a haircut, and a shave.  With one of them  crazy Jack the Ripper razorblades.  Yeah, how's that for authentic.  Let's compare that experience with someone's feast at Bubba Gump's Shrimp.  Hey, all you can eat shrimp is a good thing don't get me wrong, but it's not a good thing when that shrimp comes from a tin bucket.  Am I rambling? I might have strayed a little bit off topic.  I'd go back on, but that involves thought and procedure.  Both of which are entirely unnecessary while watching Independence Day.  Yes, the movie with Will Smith and Jeff whats-his-name in it.  No, I'm not rambling.  Kali xronia file mou.